


Hostile Work Environment

by BirdSimulator



Category: Dirty Bomb (Video Game)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, LGBTQ Themes, slowish burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-05 00:46:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11566815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirdSimulator/pseuds/BirdSimulator
Summary: In the months following her traumatizing run-in with Aimee, Proxy managed to get her life back on track.  The past was behind her, or so she thought.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ahaha well, for one, it's fun to be breaking in the Dirty Bomb tag.
> 
> This is my first foray into fanfiction that resulted in something actually being finished. I am not very familiar with Ao3's system so if you think there any tags that would be suitable let me know.

“ _Psst! Hey!_ ”

 

Proxy stopped in her tracks and turned to see Sparks gesturing over to her.  “What?”

 

Sparks glanced down the hall and kept her voice low.  “Just come with me.”

 

Proxy obliged despite her confusion.  “What's going on?” she asked, only to be met with silence.  She had to walk a bit faster to keep up with Sparks’s urgent pace.  It wasn’t worth the waste of breath to press for answers now.

 

Sparks ushered her into the clinic and pulled the door shut behind them.  “The scar on your neck.”

 

“Yeah, what about it?”   

 

“Some new girl has case with same symbol.  Do you think-?”

 

Proxy’s stomach lurched.  “You can’t be serious.”  Sparks nodded grimly.  She tried to grasp at whatever straws she could.  “What did she look like?  Did she say anything?  Maybe it was someone else.”

 

Sparks shook her head.  “Didn’t get good look.  Tallish?  Brunette?  She didn’t say anything.  I only really saw case before I came for you.  What do we do?”

 

“If it’s actually her and she was hired what _can_ we do?  I guess it means she can't do anything to me either, but -”  Proxy gave a frustrated sigh.  “Could you just not heal her or something?”

 

“Look, just stay with me, ok?  I can make sure nothing happens.”

 

Proxy pressed her fingers into her temples, hiding her face in her palms.  She let out a frustrated huff.  Sparks’s offer didn’t do a whole lot to soothe her nerves.  Still, she’d take all the help she could get.  “Yeah, thanks,” she murmured, taking another moment before letting her hands down.  “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted you to be wrong this badly.”

 

* * *

 

Much to Proxy’s dismay she couldn’t camp in the clinic forever.  Sparks had been kind enough to collect Proxy's equipment for her, but the mission still needed doing despite the looming possibility of an eye-thieving Frenchwoman in the ranks.  Sparks led the way through the halls as her stressed satellite stayed a bit closer than she would on better days.  Every now and again Proxy bumped her elbow on her gear, who muttered a tense “sorry” before drifting away again.

 

The chatting of the mercs in the garage grew nearer.  Proxy felt her teeth grind slightly from the anxiety clamping her jaw.  Her thoughts were peppered with replays from the first and what she'd hoped to be the last run in with Aimee.  The stress alone was enough to render her dizzy and nauseous.  Sparks paused just before the door out to give her a reassuring pat on the shoulder.  Proxy managed to calm herself somewhat with a deep breath.  “Alright, go.”

 

As soon as Sparks opened the door Proxy started her headcount.  An uneasy sort of relief washed over her as nobody new stood out from the crowd.   Hope that this micro-fiasco was nothing more than an agonizing misunderstanding reluctantly lingered.  Proxy trailed along behind Sparks to join Nader, who was sitting on the front of an EV next to her modest pile of equipment.

 

Proxy hopped up and sat next to Nader while Sparks opted to stand on the floor between them.  Proxy kept an eye on the room as everyone else waited for the call to go.  Even though her first scan came up negative nothing felt quite right - the sensation of being watched was too strong and hostile to be ignored.  She looked over to watch the door, her pulse spiking when she noticed an unfortunately familiar figure in the back corner of the room.  Of course, the blind spot she didn’t check on their way in.  The sickly mix of anger and dread in her stomach crystallized when she accidentally made eye contact.

 

“ _Shit._ ”

 

Proxy tapped on Sparks’ shoulder a bit harder than she intended, making her flinch.  Sparks had also seen the proverbial elephant in the room.  “It will be alright,” she replied, unsure of what she could offer up for comfort.  Her friend wasn’t exactly in an enviable position.

 

“You know that if she tries anything we’d take care of her.  The brass shouldn’t hear about it,” Nader added.  “Even if they did, it’s not like they’ll fire me.  I can handle a dock in pay.”

 

Proxy was thankful for the moral support but was completely unable to speak.  She had invested most of her focus in breathing.

 

“Alright you lot,” the detached voice of a commander crackled over the intercom.  “Your ride is here, get a move on.”

 

“Mmm, about time.”  Nader slid off of the EV, stretching a bit before gathering up her gear.  “At least the most you’ll have to be around her is here and on the flights.  You know how those sniper types just sit and camp in the back all day.”

 

Proxy smiled a bit, taking what little comfort she could in a small helping of smack talk.  “Yeah, that does sorta help.”  She adjusted the straps of her pack after dropping to the floor.  “So does having you two play bodyguard for me.  Makes me feel special or something.”

 

“Well,” Nader chuckled, “it's what friends are for, no?”

 

The trio joined the throng of the other mercs heading out to the helicopter.  Proxy kept herself between Sparks and Nader and tried her best to ignore the burning sensation of eyes on her.  Despite her friends doing what they could to make her feel better the worry wouldn't stay at bay.  “Does anyone else know that it’s _her_?”

 

“I have not told anyone,” Sparks replied.  “Not my information to spill.”

 

“Same here,” Nader added.

 

“Cheers. Best to keep it under wraps.”  Proxy wasn’t quite sure if she wanted the rest of the team to know yet - or ever, for that matter.  Outing Aimee as her attacker would probably give her an excuse to paint a target on her back and finish what she started.

 

Most of the seats in the helicopter had been taken already, leaving only a cluster of seats up front free.  Proxy stiffened.  She was far from ready to be stuck anywhere near the unwelcome newcomer, much less right next to her.  

 

Nader noticed the same issue.  “Hold on, I’ve got this.”  She set her sights on Vassili who had claimed the seat farthest in the back.  An easy target.  “Hey,” she said with a tap on his shoulder, “I need that seat.”

 

He grimaced.  “What for?”  

 

“Not you.”

 

“I sat here first!”

 

“Good for you, I hope you enjoyed your stay.  Someone else will be sitting there very shortly.”

 

He stared at her defiantly in an attempt to hold his ground.  It proved to be in vain as Nader towered over him with a stone cold glare that made him shrink back in the seat.  “Ugh, fine,” he grumbled, undoing the straps and slipping out of the way to go sit up front.  “Asshole.”

 

“What was that?”

 

“N-Nothing.”

 

Nader smirked.  “That’s what I thought.”  She gestured over to Proxy to welcome her to the newly annexed seat.  

 

Proxy avoided eye contact with the very disgruntled Vassili on her way to the back of the cabin.  “Thanks,” she whispered before she settled in.  Nader just responded with a little smile and went to sit up front with Sparks.  She watched the door anxiously only to look away the moment Aimee crossed the threshold.  

 

The last bits of reality were sinking in.  Proxy pulled out her earbuds instead of joining in on the conversation with others as she normally would.  From liftoff until their final descent she kept her head down, twiddling her thumbs, vainly trying to drown out her thoughts with music.  There wasn't anything else to be done.  All she could do was hope for the best.

 

* * *

 

The mission went off without a hitch.  If it weren’t for the knowledge that Aimee was lurking around it would’ve been one of the easiest days in Proxy’s recent memory.  Much like Nader predicted, once the final briefings were given Proxy saw nothing of her until they regathered for the lift back.  There were a couple times where they caught each other sneaking glances but they never really looked for long.

 

The constant stream of anxiety steadily eroded Proxy’s energy to near nothing.  She was just barely able to manage a meager dinner of beans on toast and a shower before clambering into bed.  Despite the exhaustion she couldn’t drift off with her nerves getting the best of her.  She took a rain check on sleep, opting to idly switch between checking a few social media feeds and messaging Sparks to kill the time.  

  
  


Hey, how are you feeling?

 

like absolute shite

 of all the people mercserv

could’ve sent, they sent her

 

I regret giving her their info

 

Yeah.  I guess it is better she

is on our side though.

 

She didn’t try anything either.

 

but how much were you watching her?

 

Hmm… maybe just little bit. )))

 

we can’t keep doing this if she stays

 

Try not to think of that.  

We have couple days before

next mission, give yourself

time to relax.  

 

Nader offered for you to

come over sometime if you’d

like. Maybe tomorrow evening?

 

sounds good.  I’ll get back to you in

the morning though I’m shattered

Alright, sleep well.

 

you too

 


	2. Chapter 2

New day, new assignment.  There was no mission out in the field - it was only a briefing day.  Proxy maintained cautious optimism that the workplace encounter with Aimee was a one off.  Stranger things have happened after all, such as her winding up in their squad in the first place.  

 

Her luck ran out as soon as she walked into the locker room to be greeted with the sight of Aimee in her row.  Proxy stopped in her tracks, as did Aimee when she looked up to see who came in.  They locked eyes and time seemed to freeze over.  The room was dead silent.  They were alone.  

 

“Uh…” Aimee's gaze drifted from Proxy's eyepatch down to the brand she’d left behind on her neck.  A look of grim realization spread across her face.  “Hi…”

 

_ Hi?! _  Proxy felt anger bubble up from deep within her but managed to bite it back.  She didn't say anything, knowing full well the moment she opened her mouth it would all come spilling out.  Not wanting to be around any longer than absolutely necessary she made a beeline past Aimee to her locker, quickly sorting her gear and locking up.  She made a point of budging Aimee as she stormed out of the room. 

 

It was still a while until the mission was set to start so she headed to their so-called mess hall.  It was more of a glorified office break room than anything, but there was the promise of drinks and chairs that were somewhat comfortable.  The first thing Proxy noticed on her way in was the smell of coffee dominating the small space.  Nader and Sparks had claimed one of the tables and gave Proxy little waves of acknowledgment as she went past them on her way to the counter in the back.

 

“Coffee just got brewed a few minutes ago” Nader pointed out before taking a sip of her own.

 

“Mm, lucky me,” she sighed while perusing the chipped and mismatched collection of mugs.  She picked one and set it aside.  “Today’s already shaping up to be something.  Ran into my new friend in the locker room just now.”  Proxy put entirely too much sugar in her mug but couldn’t be bothered to care, pouring in the coffee.  

 

“Did you leave her in one piece?”  Sparks asked as Proxy stirred her drink.  She scooted her chair over so Proxy had more space for hers.

 

“You know what she said?”  Proxy asked as she came and settled down in the chair.  Nader and Sparks both shook their heads.  “ _ Hi. _ ”  Her voice dripped with unmasked bitterness.  “I don’t know if she even actually recognized me yesterday.  Once she got a good look at her bit of handiwork… you should’ve seen the look on her face.  You think you’d remember someone better after permanently disfiguring them.  Bit of an intimate moment innit?”  She didn’t say anything more, instead taking a gulp of her sickly sweet coffee and silently fuming to herself.

 

A creak from the door announced a new arrival. Proxy peered over mug, unsurprised but nevertheless pissed that it was Aimee again.  The silent fury in her finished consuming what little shreds of worry she had left in her.  Proxy clasped her mug tighter as she stared her down.  

 

Aimee didn’t waver in the slightest.  She made her way to the counter, giving the table as wide of a berth as she could manage in the narrow room.  Deathly silences settled, only interrupted by the clinks of Aimee getting herself coffee.

 

“So, new girl,” Nader began only to be cut off.

 

“It is Aimee.”

 

“Aimee, right,” she echoed, idly drumming her fingers on the table.  “How are you liking the new job so far?”

 

Aimee gave a disdainful sniff as she turned to lean back against the counter, cup in hand.  “It is fine, even if the workplace seems a bit…”  she glanced over to the seething Proxy, “hostile, at the moment.”

 

“Oh?  Sorry to hear that, such a rough start,” Nader tutted with the faintest edge of sarcasm in her voice.  “We don’t exactly have an HR department.  Settling of disputes is pretty laissez-faire around here so long as it doesn’t result in grievous bodily harm.  Hard to get new hires if we have co-workers assaulting each other, no?”

 

Aimee’s slight frown betrayed her annoyance.  “Sounds like that will have to happen sooner rather than later then.”  She paused to take a sip.  “I am under a long-term contract, you see.”

 

Proxy felt the muscles in her face twitch involuntarily.  She finished her coffee in a much larger than usual gulp in a last ditch attempt to keep herself from saying anything.  Sparks rested her hand on Proxy’s knee to help keep her grounded.

 

Aimee’s cracking didn’t go unnoticed by Nader - she went in for the kill.  “If you don’t mind me asking, who exactly is it that is making you feel so unwelcome?  Is there anything that happened between you and this mystery person in the past, perhaps?”

 

Aimee all but slammed her half-empty mug on the counter, some of the coffee spilling over.  She was keeping hold of her temper, if only just.  “Something tells me that you already know everything.”

 

Nader shrugged, revelling in putting her through a little hell.  Proxy looked up from her hands and made strained eye contact with Aimee.  “Yeah,” she almost choked on the word, “she does.”  Enough was enough.  Without another word she stood up from the table and hastily went off for the locker room.  She sent Nader a text consisting only of “ _ you absolute bellend” _ before jamming her phone back in her pocket so she could get her backpack.  On her way to the courtyard she heard footsteps echoing in the hall far behind her.  She didn’t look back; all she wanted was to get out.

 

The courtyard was meager at best, boasting a few benches, overgrown shrubs, and out of control ivy climbing up the surrounding walls.  A light drizzle falling from the small square of sky above was just enough to cool the air and leave things smelling fresh.  The pigeons milling around weren’t bothered by Proxy settling on a nearby bench in the slightest.  

 

She rummaged through her bag so she could roll herself a cigarette.  It wasn't much of a habit, but she needed to calm down if she had anything more than a snowball's chance in Hell of making it through the day without losing it entirely.  Shreds of tobacco kept escaping the paper as her stress-clumsy hands struggled to roll it up, but she eventually managed.  The trembling in her fingers faded with her first drag.  She was barely through her second when she saw Aimee come out the door.

 

“What?” Proxy spat, not moving from her place as Aimee got closer.  “Taking my eye wasn't enough for you or something?  Now you're stalking me -  _ again?! _ ”

 

“No,” Aimee replied, surprisingly quiet and calm.  “I want to talk to you.  Please.”

 

Proxy glowered and took another drag, holding her breath for a moment before sighing. “Bloody hell, fine.”  Her phone vibrated in her pocket.  She pulled it out, thankful for the excuse to pay less attention to the conversation.

 

“Thanks.”  Aimee suppressed a cough sat on the bench opposite Proxy and laced her fingers.  “First, uh… what is your name?”

 

“Wouldn’t you know it after going through all the effort of tracking me down?”

 

“I… er... forgot.”

 

_ Are you kidding me?  _  Proxy wanted nothing more than to bite her head off for that alone, but she endured.  “It’s Proxy, as far as you’re concerned.”

 

The daggers in Proxy’s voice almost made her flinch.  “Well Proxy, I wanted to apologize for,” she paused, trying to find the right word, “overreacting a bit, way back.”

 

“Thanks, I guess,” Proxy grumbled, knocking the ashes off of her cigarette and pulling again.  “Maybe it wasn’t too much of an overreaction considering I was supposed to kill you.  But then I went and killed my employer instead so… whoops.”

 

“It was all so hard to believe, like everything I had been working for was destroyed.  I idolized Bashki and… I was so angry I could have killed you then.”

 

“Yeah, I remember your whole speech well enough, trust me.”  Proxy clenched her phone tightly as her anger kept building.  “I should count myself lucky you found a less lethal way to take your anger out on me, eh?”

 

“Probably, and you told me about MercServ so it wasn't a complete loss.”  She awkwardly laughed but a sharp inhale and flicker of rage in Proxy’s eye cut her short.  She cleared her throat.  “So, how is your… uh...?” she tapped her cheek below her left eye.

 

“Just as you left it.”

 

“And that is?”

 

“Absolutely wrecked.  I don’t wear the eyepatch for looks.”

 

“And your neck…” Aimee shifted uncomfortably.  “Is there anything that the doctors can do to fix it?”

 

“It's been, what, a year now?  Scars like that don't heal by themselves, can’t cover em with tattoos, and doctors  _ could _ fix it but I can’t be arsed to get a skin graft.”   A pause, more cigarette.  “As far as what actually matters goes a friend of mine is tinkering with a replacement eye.  Don’t know when it’ll be ready though.  He’s well brilliant but a bit of a slow worker.  Until then I just get to live with the consequences of your existence.”

 

Aimee’s already-minimal confidence was rapidly running out.  “I didn't really think it would be so... permanent.”

 

Proxy gritted her teeth, teetering on the brink of snapping.  “We learn something new every day now don't we?”  She checked the time on her phone.  “The briefing starts in a few minutes,” she stated coldly as she stood up, pocketing her phone and slinging her backpack over her shoulder.  “We should get inside.” 

 

Proxy took one last drag and snuffed out what little remained of the cigarette and flicked the butt into a bin on her way to the door.  Before she went inside she glanced back to see that Aimee hadn’t moved from the bench.  “Didn’t think it would be permanent,” she muttered under her breath in disbelief.  “Sure.”

 

* * *

 

“Sorry for calling you a bellend, by the way,” Proxy said as her, Sparks, and Nader headed out to the parking lot after the briefing.  “I was pissed off is all.”

 

“Don’t be,” Sparks answered before Nader could accept Proxy’s apology, “she deserved it.”

 

“Mmm, she’s right, really,” Nader admitted.  “I wanted to antagonize her a bit - couldn’t help myself.”

 

“You should learn to save your sadistic tendencies for more appropriate times.”  Nader snickered.  Sparks lightly slapped her arm.  “Shut up,  _ durak _ _! _ ”

 

Proxy didn’t pay any mind to their typical immature antics.  “She followed me outside to talk to me, said she was sorry and all that,” she scoffed, leading the way to Nader’s Jeep.  “As if that actually fixes anything.”

 

Nader fished in her pocket to get her keys.  “Do you think she meant it though?” 

 

“Don’t know.”  Proxy slipped her backpack off and put it in the back row as soon as the doors were unlocked.  Before she got in Sparks gestured to the front passenger door to let her ride shotgun.  She took her up on the offer and did a little wave of her hand in thanks.  “It’s not like she has a reason to lie, really.”  She huffed as she climbed onto the running board and slid into the bucket seat, pulling the door shut behind her.  “She’s still alive - got to mangle my pretty little face too.  Now she’s all… whatever this is.”  

 

Nader settled into her seat and waited for Sparks to shut her door before starting the engine and lifting the parking brake.  “How are you feeling about it all?”

 

Proxy sighed and rubbed her temple, shifting a bit as they started moving.  “I’m still mad at her and have bloody good reason to be.  Her being ‘sorry’ doesn’t magically make everything go away.”  Proxy trailed off.  Stress combined with the rocking of the Jeep as Nader drove around and over the various potholes riddling the road made her feel sick.  “I don’t know…  she did seem, like, actually genuine.”

 

“I suppose that is something,” Sparks chimed in from the back.  “Do you think she will be problem at work?”  

 

Proxy shook her head.  “Maybe, probably not?  I hope so anyway.”

 

“Well look at you go, Ms. Hostile Work Environment.”

 

“Oh, piss off.”


	3. Chapter 3

Work was more or less uneventful for the following couple of months.  Aimee was the only persistent anomaly.  It was far from painless but Proxy had eventually gotten used to her being around.   She wasn’t even sure if she was angry anymore or if it was simply time making her apathetic.  They’d see each other a few times a day but generally adhered to an unspoken agreement of keeping their respective distances.  On odd occasions they shared lunch breaks, able to make casual small talk without it devolving into a row.  Painfully awkward interactions made up the bulk of their experience, but some managed to be a vague form of pleasant.  Still, Proxy would take stilted quasi-civil conversation over constant blinding rage any day.

 

It was well after standard hours on a Friday night.  The barracks were nearly empty but Sparks was on the rota for charting and taking inventory this week.  Nader stuck around as their designated driver, company-keeper, and for a general lack of better things to do.  Proxy killed the time by doing an extra round of checks and tweaks on the EV to save her Monday labor.  

 

Once Proxy finished up she went off to the bathroom.  She did the best she could to wash away the sweat and grease smudged on her arms and face in the sink.  Some stains stuck but after years in the field it didn’t bother her.  She dried herself off before heading over to the break room to treat herself to a drink.

 

It was empty save for Aimee sitting at the table, fixated on her phone.

 

“Hey,” Proxy said as she slipped off her backpack.  She set it on one of the spare chairs on her way to the counter.

 

“Oh, hey,”  Aimee locked her phone and set it aside.  “I did not realize you were still here.”

 

“Could say the same for you.”  Proxy topped off the kettle and flipped it on.  “Why on earth are you even here?” 

 

“Eh, just sort of spaced out,” she admitted as she stretched in her chair.

 

“For, what, two hours?”  Aimee nodded bashfully.  “Hah, fair dos.  Happens to me all the time.”  Proxy noticed that the mug next to her was empty.  “Do you want another drink?  I was going to make myself some tea, but if you want something I can make it for you.”

 

Aimee was taken aback.  It was the first kind gesture Proxy had ever offered her.  “Tea would be nice, thanks.”

 

Proxy picked out two mugs and put teabags in them.  The kettle was still heating up so she went over behind Aimee to take her old cup.  She noticed that she was wearing some of perfume that was light enough that she didn’t notice until she was right next to her.  It was light, fresh smell with a subtle sweetness.  Part of her wanted to compliment it, but didn’t for the sake of not sounding weird.  “Do you take milk and sugar?”  

 

“I… actually do not drink tea often,” Aimee admitted.  “Surely you know better so I trust your judgement.”

 

Proxy wasn’t surprised about her drinking habits so much as how painlessly the encounter was going so far.  “You just saying that because I’m English?”

 

“Well…” 

 

“Aw come on, I’m messing with you.  I do drink, approximately, entirely too much tea.”  Aimee smiled.   _ Holy shit, that worked.   _ She played it safe, going with her usual of one sugar cube and pouring in the water, giving a quick stir before leaving them to steep. __ “Anyway you can’t get away with blaming me if it’s not your taste though.”  She washed up Aimee’s old mug in the meantime.

 

“Worst case you can drink it.”

 

“Heh, right.  Can’t let it go to waste.  We’d send you away for that.”  Proxy dried off her hands and went into the fridge under the counter for milk.  She sniffed it before she put a little splash in both mugs, stirring again and fishing the teabags out to put them in the bin.  “Here you are,” she put Aimee’s cup on the table before putting the milk back and picking up her own.  She moved her backpack over a seat so she could sit directly across from Aimee.  

 

Mercifully, Aimee took the lead with the small talk.  “Never asked, but how long have you worked here?”

 

“Since the incident, really.  I take the odd job every now and again but here is the main place.”

 

“I am really bad with names but those two you always hang out with, have they been your friends the whole time?”

 

“Nader and Sparks?  Sparks and I go way back.  Nader’s been around a long time but she’s still a more recent friend.  Only really got to talking with her because of Sparks.  She’s a tough nut to crack she is.”

 

“You mean terrifying.”

 

“Yes.  Well lovely once you get to know her though.  You should see her when it’s just us hanging out.  She’s like a teddy bear, especially with Sparks.”  

 

“I will believe you when I see it.” 

 

Proxy chuckled.  “I know, she scared me at first too.  Said the same to Sparks.”  Her mouth was dry but the tea was still too hot to drink.  “How about you? Do you get on with people here?  It’s been a while, must know someone.” 

 

“Eh,” Aimee shrugged, “I still do not talk to people much.  Vassili talks to me way too much.  Cannot take a hint.”

 

Proxy nodded sympathetically.  “Yeah, he’s… something.” 

 

“He keeps trying to flirt with me even though I have told him time and time again I was not interested. Then he will brag about killing some people but he did not even shoot them in the head.  Some sniper.” 

 

“Sounds about right.  If you want I can ask Nader to bully him some if he keeps bothering you.”

 

Aimee giggled a little. “Maybe I will accept that offer.”   

 

Proxy was caught off guard by how cute her laugh sounded - she’d never heard it before.  They made eye contact and for once, something about it was different.  It made her smile, even though she couldn’t quite place why.  “Ah, the tea should’ve cooled enough by now.”

 

“Oh, right.”  Aimee picked up her cup and took a tentative sip as Proxy drank some of hers.  She had another to be sure.  “Different, but it is nice actually.”

 

“You don't have to lie to me to be polite.”

 

“No, trust me, I would not do that.”

 

“I can respect that,” Proxy nodded and rested her cup on the table, her hands still wrapped around it for warmth.  She felt an impulse and acted without so much as calculating the risk.  “So hey, speaking of getting to know people.  I was planning to go over to Nader’s place once Sparks is done with her work.”  

 

Aimee stopped drinking.  “Yes?”

 

Regret came hot on the heels of Proxy's questionable decision making but she knew she was past the point of no return as soon as she opened her mouth.  “I was just thinking maybe you could come along and get to know them too - you know, if you had nothing else going on - if you wanted to...”  She gave up on not fumbling over her words and lightly tapped her thumb on her mug.

 

Aimee almost recoiled at the offer.  “Would they be okay with me?”

 

Proxy was floored that she didn't say no outright.  “Oh, yeah.  They’ll just be… really confused. Hmm.” She trailed off, pondering that complicating factor.  She noticed that Aimee's smile was replaced with an apprehensive look.  “Hey, I promise they won't cause problems.”

 

Aimee sat quietly to weigh her options.  Proxy tensed up, the brief wait for the response agonizing.  “Okay, I will come along.”  

 

“Alright.” Proxy smiled but otherwise played it cool, not wanting to come off as overly eager despite the spike in her pulse.  She drank more of her tea and pulled her phone out of her pocket.  The lock screen showed notifications from several minutes before - a small string of messages from Sparks.   _ Oops.   _ “Oh hell, Sparks finished her stuff a while ago.  We should get going.”  She got up and grabbed her backpack, sending off a quick reply.  “You good?”

 

“Ah, yes.”  Aimee stood and gathered up her things.  They both took a moment to finish their tea. “Here,” Aimee had set her mug in the sink and reached out for Proxy’s.

 

“Cheers.” Proxy handed over her cup.  “Sorry, didn't realize that she’d finish this soon.”

 

“ _ Soon? _ ” Aimee asked in mild disbelief as she gathered her things. 

 

“Yeah, can take a long while sometimes.”  Proxy went out to the hall, holding the door open for Aimee.  “They’re waiting in the parking lot.”

 

They didn't make it far down the hall before Aimee stopped outside the bathrooms.  “Hey, can you give me a sec?”  She darted inside once Proxy gave her a nod. 

 

Proxy leaned against the wall and pulled out her phone to send off a vague text to Sparks.   _ On my way.  Try not to freak out when I get there. _  They weren’t stellar words, but they were the best she could manage.  She didn’t respond to Sparks’s reply of a single question mark.

 

After a few minutes Aimee came back out.  “Hey, ready?”

 

“Ah yeah,” Proxy pocketed her phone and looked up to see that Aimee had touched up her makeup.  “You look… nice.”  She fumbled again.  “I mean, you did before too.  You know what I mean.”

 

Aimee smiled.  “Heh, thanks.  Work always messes everything up.”

 

“Tell me about it.  I barely bother with anything besides mascara and eyeliner anymore.”  Proxy led the way out to the lot with Aimee following closely by her side.  

 

“Are you  _ sure _ that they will be okay?”  

 

“It’ll be fine,” Proxy reassured her, waving to Nader and Sparks.  Even from a quickly-closing distance she could tell they were thoroughly befuddled.  “Oi, sorry for making you wait.”

 

“Uh, no problem,” Nader replied, clearly still trying to parse together the scene before her.  “You also brought a… friend.”

 

“I invited her to join us tonight, if you’re okay with me having a plus one.”  Nader and Sparks exchanged glances.  “Sorry if that’s imposing.”

 

“No, it’s alright.  Welcome to the group.”  Nader offered Aimee her hand in greeting.  Aimee hesitated a moment before reaching out to shake it.  Nader smirked, a bit surprised by the strength she put into it.  “I didn’t expect you to have a firm handshake.”

 

“Would not be the first time someone has misread me.”

 

“Clearly.  Well, we’ll wait for you before we head off.  I think we’ve been here long enough today.  Want me to put your stuff in the back?”

 

“Oh, no, it's alright,” Aimee insisted. “I am used to riding with all this.  Thank you though.”  Aimee only gave a quick wave as she turned and walked off to her lonely motorcycle at the other side of the lot. The others got into Nader’s Jeep, Proxy taking the back seat.  Even though Aimee had been out of earshot for a while they didn't speak.

 

“So,” Sparks began once Nader had started the engine at the sight of Aimee driving over.  “That was… unexpected.  I see why you said no freaking out.” 

 

Proxy chuckled in an attempt to shrug off her awkwardness.  “Ah, I can explain.”

 

Nader started driving off to lead the way, glancing at Aimee in the rearview mirror.  “Well, good thing we’ve got a while.”


	4. Chapter 4

“No no no, you do not understand,” Aimee slurred, tapping her hand on the table with each “no” to accent her point, “words have meaning!  You cannot just use them as if they do not!”

 

“Still, that is so drastic, all over some pastry.”  An equally-inebriated Sparks leaned towards her, lowering her voice.  “But to tell truth to you, I have killed for less.”

 

Sparks had managed to sell Proxy and Aimee on vodka - they’d already killed a bottle between the four of them and worked well into a second.  Nader, the sturdiest of them all, was having a field day witnessing their antics.

 

“I’m pretty sure we've all killed people for petty reasons,” Proxy added. “Isn't that, like, an unwritten prerequisite for our job?”

 

Nader nodded. “Pretty much.  But for the love of everything can we not bring up work.  Just thinking of being stuck in London too long makes me queasy.  I need to go on holiday.”

 

“I kind of like it here,” Aimee admitted, “it is weird to see what was once a great city so quiet, you know?”

 

“I figure it’s probably something to do with all the radiation.” Proxy struggled to keep herself from laughing at her own shitty joke.  Aimee groaned.  Sparks booed.

 

“And here I thought it was because of the living costs.”  Nader gently nudged Sparks from her lap so she could sit up properly.  “One last round?”

 

“You ask that question?”  Sparks beat Nader to pulling the vodka out of the ice bucket, a trail of water dripping all over table.  

 

“My dear, it was more for our guests,” Nader chided as Sparks lined up their shot glasses.  Aimee and Proxy handed over theirs in a silent “yes.”

 

“Now see?”  Sparks said with drunken cockiness, “is just fine.  These two have it figured out, no?  We finish what we start in this house.”  She carefully filled their glasses, the vodka still thick from the cold despite most the ice having melted. Sparks' uneven hand left the glasses dangerously close to overflowing.

 

“You’re a terrible influence for the kids.”

 

“Oh, they’ll be fine - saline works miracles.”  Sparks gently patted Nader’s cheek before turning back to Proxy and Aimee.  “Congratulations to you two finally starting to get along, ” Sparks raised her glass in a final  toast, miraculously not spilling a drop.  “ _ Za druzhbu! _ ”   Nader echoed her.  Aimee and Proxy looked at each other and shrugged.  They raised their overfilled glasses with a bit less grace, not bothering trying to repeat what Sparks said before kicking back their shots.

 

“Guh, Nader is right about you being a bad role model,” Proxy said once the burn in her throat subsided.  “I think if my liver were a person it would kill you.”

 

“Alright, alright,” Nader got up, a bit wobbly on her feet.  “I’m putting my foot down.  Time to be responsible.”

 

“Mmm you should have done that a bottle ago,” Aimee pointed out as she handed off her glass.

 

“We arrive at responsibility fashionably late.”  Sparks staggered considerably as she stood but was quick to regain her balance.  “But still, we arrive.”  

 

Proxy noticed that Sparks had switched to loose chattering in German as she left the room with Nader.  Clearly there was gossip she wanted them to miss out on.  She was curious as to what she was saying but gave up on eavesdropping.  The music Nader had left playing in the background took most of her focus.

 

“Thank you,” Aimee eventually said out of nowhere, pulling Proxy out of her own little world.

 

“Uh, you’re welcome for...?”  Proxy looked over to her for some elaboration.

 

“For all of this, for giving me a chance,” her voice cracked, “even though I did nothing to deserve it.”  

 

“Hey hey hey,” Proxy slid out of her chair and sat down on the floor next to Aimee's.  “You have done all you can like…” the alcohol made it even harder for her to pick the right words, “what's done is done, you know?  Aren't we past that?”  She noticed Sparks peeking into the room only to set water bottles on a side table and pop out again.  

 

“I do not know.  Are we?” Aimee sniffled.  “Every time I look at you all I see is what I did and... hate myself for it.”  She covered her face in an attempt to hide that she was on the brink of tears.  “It is like you have forgiven me before I can even begin to forgive me.”  

 

Proxy wasn't braced for the sudden emotional drunk, much less the near transcendental awkwardness of watching Aimee start to cry like a kid who scraped their knee.  Despite it all she tried her best to roll with it.  She stumbled over to the side table to collect the water and a handful of tissues.  “Here, come on.”  Proxy settled on the arm of Aimee's chair and passed her a couple tissues.  “To be honest I don't even know how to feel about you - well, everything.” She set Aimee's water on the center table and kept her own bottle in her lap.  “All I know is that I'm as over it as I can be.”

 

Aimee took one and wiped tears and runny mascara off of her cheeks.  “How bad is it that out of all the people I work with the only one I actually want anything to do with is the one whose life I ruined?”

 

Proxy tensed, swallowing nervously at the implications of this new information. “Oh nah,” she put a hand on Aimee's shoulder, “don't give yourself that much credit.  You only shot me, branded my neck, and left me half blind to die in an alley.”  Proxy regretted her words as soon as they came out.  The jokey tone was better in her head.

 

Aimee shrugged off Proxy's hand, balling up the used tissues in her tightly clenched fist.  “I am serious.”

 

“So am I!  What do you want me to do?  Hold a grudge for the rest of my life?  Make sure you pay for what you did or whatever?”

 

“It is what I would do - what I did to you.”

 

“Yeah, I’m well aware.  Kind of hard to forget.  But I’m not you.”

 

“But what if you are like me?  What if this is is just part of some mind game?”

 

Even in her boozy haze Proxy felt herself start to tilt under the pressure. “How in the  _ fuck _ am I meant to respond to that?!”  Aimee shrunk away like she had threatened to hit her.  Proxy sighed, trying to calm down as well as stifle the feeling of guilt gnawing at her.  “Look,” she said in a softer tone, pressing her head to her forehead in frustration, “this is where you need to decide whether or not you trust me.  None of this whole getting better thing matters if you constantly think I’m out to get you.”

 

“I…”  Aimee stopped, shifting in her seat and managing to make less-teary eye contact.  “I really want to trust you.” 

 

“How can I help you do that?”  Proxy felt Aimee's fingers cautiously trace over hers.  She didn't move save for looking down at their hands and back up to Aimee.  

 

“Nothing, well, not more than what you already do.”  Aimee gently curled her fingers around Proxy’s.  “I am the one who needs to figure it out, prove myself to you.”

 

More conflicted feelings - more confusion than anything.  Proxy couldn't tell if sort-of holding hands with her was weird or enjoyable.  She turned her hand so she could hold Aimee's properly.  Maybe it weird that she was enjoying it.  Aimee's formerly tense and tearful expression had softened ever so slightly into a smile.

 

They sat together in an unsure silence.  Proxy felt herself flush a bit as Aimee's thumb rubbed the back of her hand.  Her mouth felt dry.  She pulled her hand back so she could take another drink of her water.  

 

Aimee almost looked sad before she noticed why Proxy let go.  She didn't move her hand from its spot.

 

Proxy broke the silence with a sigh.  “Why do you care so much about what I think of you anyway?”  She looked at Aimee but got no immediate response.  “I know how guilty people act and this… it all seems like it's more than that.”

 

Aimee caught Proxy off guard with a stress-strained laugh.  “You are not wrong!  It is Guilt Deluxe!  How the hell am I meant to stop feeling bad about what I did when I…”  She stopped, opting to grab her water bottle for a drink over finishing her sentence.  Her face contorted as she took a swig.  “Why does this water taste so bad?”

 

“Oh…”  Proxy was getting conversational whiplash but kept going along with it.  “Blame Sparks.  She puts salt in it whenever we drink.  Don't ask -” she did air quotes and a lazy impersonation “-  _ is good for you _ .”

 

“Seems… odd.”

 

“You should probably drink it.  One time I was absolutely pissed and told her off after she kept pestering me to do it.  Can't remember what I said but a few minutes later she was sticking me for IV fluids.”

 

“Uh…”

 

“Yeah, like I said -” she unscrewed the cap and chugged some of her water down.  “It's gross, but at least I never get hangovers anymore.  But yeah…”  She lightly tapped her fingers on the armrest.  There was no way she was going to let Aimee get away with a subject change.  “So… About what you were saying before - the Guilt Deluxe thing.  What did you mean?”

 

In another for Proxy’s collection of firsts for the day, Aimee seemed genuinely flustered.  She was clearly banking on Proxy letting her detour slide.  A faint blush reddened her cheeks as she pulled her hand back to wring it with the other.  “Well… I think I have feelings.  You know, for you.”

 

Proxy sat in silent shock as she processed her confession.  “As in, like, romantic?”  Aimee nodded.  Part of her guessed this was coming.  Another part of her deeper still hoped that it was.  Even so it still wasn't enough to brace her for it.  “Really?  And you’re not taking the piss?”

 

Aimee almost looked hurt.  “No, I would not lie about this.”

 

“Where did this even come from?  How -?”

 

“I do not know.  It just… happened” Aimee reached for Proxy's hand again.  

 

Proxy didn't pull it back, letting Aimee their fingers lace together.  “Kinda funny isn't it?”

 

“Yeah.”  Aimee smiled a bit awkwardly when Proxy made eye contact with her again.  “But I mean if you are straight then -” 

 

“Oh, it’s not that.  God no.”  Aimee couldn't have looked more relieved if she tried.  “You’re just… not alone in that whole romantic feelings thing.”

 

They looked at each other without any words.  Aimee lifted her hand and gently caressed the scar on Proxy's neck before resting it on her cheek.  Proxy shuddered slightly at her touch, swallowing nervously but not looking away,  Her heart thudded in her chest as she felt Aimee shift and lean in.  She closed her eyes and met her lips halfway. 

 

Aimee broke the kiss painfully soon, clearly worried.  “Sorry, I should have asked.”

 

Proxy blinked, still not quite up to speed.  “No, it's okay, really.  I want this.”  She scratched her neck with her free hand.  “I think so, anyway.  It’s a bit strange.” 

 

“Yeah, just a little bit.”

 

Proxy hesitated for a moment before she went for another kiss.  A little shiver went through her as Aimee brushed her fingers underneath her ear and buried them in her hair.  It was hard tell if the taste of vodka was hers or Aimee’s, but she sunk into the kiss all the same.  There wasn’t a doubt left - as objectively bizarre as her situation was, it still managed to feel some sort of right.

 

Proxy broke the kiss but kept herself close.  “Do you… should I go get Sparks and Nader… or…?” 

 

“Oh,” Aimee sat back in the chair and rested her hands in her lap. “Probably yes.  Do not want to be a rude guest.” 

 

Proxy smiled a little.  “Don't worry, it's fine.  Gimme a sec.”  She slid off the arm of the chair and wandered out of the living room.  The master bedroom’s door was shut but the light still shone from underneath.  Proxy chanced a knock on the door.  A disheveled Sparks opened it a few seconds after.

 

“Hey, you okay?”  Proxy nodded. “Good, good.  Have you been -”

 

“Drinking the shitty water?  Yes.  Aimee too.”

 

“Hey, it’s not shitty, is good for you.”  Proxy managed to hold back her urge to laugh.   _ Nailed it. _  “But still, you learn well.  And how is Aimee?  She seemed upset when I saw you before too.”

 

“Yeah, we both were, but we talked it out.  Wanted to let you know we've sorted that if you want to hang out more.  I'm guessing you and Nader are tired though.”

 

“Ah, maybe little bit,” Sparks chuckled softly. “We mostly wanted to give you space but what can I say?  Long day.  At least let us help you with bed and all that first though.”

 

“I'm sure we could share the guest room.  Makes things easier.”

 

“'We?’” Sparks echoed, “as in you and Aimee?”  Another nod from Proxy.  “Well, whatever works.  You know where towels and spare bedding are so take what you need, ok?”

 

“Mhm.  And hey, could you thank Nader for me?”

 

“You’re welcome,” Nader called back from someplace out of view. 

 

“Ah, well, g’night then.”

 

“Goodnight, sleep well.”  Sparks gave a little wave before shutting the door.

 

Proxy checked her phone for the time as she went back to the living room - it was pushing 2 am.  Suddenly feeling exhausted made a lot more sense.  “Hey,” she greeted a spaced out Aimee.  “Nader and Sparks are in bed for the night.  Should we do the same?”

 

“Oh, am I not sleeping on the couch or -?”

 

“Well, that was the plan originally but the bed in the guest room is a lot more comfortable.  It's pretty big too so…” 

 

“Alright, that sounds good.” Aimee managed to stand on wobbly feet.  She tucked her water under her arm and went to collect the duffel bag she’d left at the end of the couch.  “Oof, yeah, definitely ready for bed.”

 

Proxy reached out in an offer to carry it but Aimee waved it off.  “Good thing we don't need to pull out all of the extra blankets now.”  Proxy led the way to the guest room and flipped on the light.  She'd already left her belongings on the king-sized bed.  

 

Aimee plopped her bag at the foot of it.  “You were not kidding when you said it was big.” 

 

“Ha yeah, but if you hog it I’m still gonna kick you out.”

 

“I will try my best not to.  No promises though.”  Aimee rummaged through her bag and pulled out a spare set of clean clothes.  She eyed up the open ensuite bathroom door.  “Any chance I can have a shower?” 

 

“Ah, yeah.  I’ll go get you a towel.”  Proxy left the room for the hallway closet.  Despite living alone up until Sparks moved in she kept a neatly-folded stack of towels at the ready.  She grabbed two along with a pair of washcloths and closed the door behind her.  “Here you go,” she said, offering up one of the sets.  

 

“Thanks.”  She gathered her towels and travel bag of what Proxy could only assume to be toiletries.  

 

Proxy lingered after Aimee shut the bathroom door behind her.  The reminder that showers existed made her acutely aware of the fact that the best she’s had since the morning was a sink wash.  Instead of sitting on the bed she got her own spare clothes and toothbrush before going to knock on the master bedroom door again.

 

“Yeah?”  Nader called back without getting up to answer.

 

“Can I use your shower?  Aimee’s in the other.”

 

“Sure.”  

 

Proxy went into the room to see that Nader and Sparks were already settled in bed.  “Hope you don’t mind me stealing your soap.”  

 

Nader scoffed.  “Do you ever not steal it?”  

 

“Oi, what can I say?”  Proxy shrugged a bit as she walked over to the bathroom door.  “At least I’m consistent.”  

 

* * *

 

By the time Proxy had showered and dried her hair Aimee was already in bed with her hair wrapped in the towel.  She’d also managed to finish off her water, the empty bottle left on the dresser.  “Hey,” she greeted on her way to the bed.  

 

“Hey.”  Aimee shifted aside a bit so Proxy could have space to get in.  Before settling in she undid the towel on her head to let her hair down.  “This bed is really damn comfortable.”

 

“A lot better than the couch, innit.”

 

“I did not even sit on that but I can imagine so.”

 

Proxy checked her phone to be greeted by a whole lot of nothing interesting.  She set it aside on the nightstand, instead looking back to Aimee.  “What did you even do before you were a hired gun?”

 

Aimee sighed.   “Well, I tried to get through a course at Studio Bercot but it did not work out so well.  I wound up dropping out and started working as a model.  Around then was when I started learning how to handle guns because I made friends in odd places.  Was hard work but as it turns out getting really good at shooting things does wonders for your self-esteem. Tinkered around and made the Snitch too.”

 

“Wait, you  _ made _ that?”  

 

“Mmm, I had some help from said odd friends to source things, give feedback on the designs, lend hands... but mostly yes.”  

 

“Bloody hell, color me impressed.”  

 

“Heh, thanks.  That means a lot coming from you.”  Aimee was slightly blushing again at the compliment.  She cleared her throat after a bit of silence.  “But yeah, Bashki was a guest lecturer before I left and I really wanted to try becoming his apprentice.  Figured that being his bodyguard was a good way to do that.  Sure, I got curious about his finances, but he was not exactly smart about keeping that information hidden.  Then you happened - well,  _ he _ happened.  _  Et voilà _ .”  She sighed.  “What about you?”

 

“Eh, enlisted in the military as soon as I turned 18.  Couldn’t afford uni after tuition hikes and couldn’t deal with the debt, plus it was good for engineering anyway.  Always had a knack for that.  Did my four years of service before coming back home to London just in time for the fucking bombs to go off.  Talk about an utter pisstake.”

 

“Jesus, just a bit.”

 

“Yeah, we lived right in the fallout zone, but thankfully close enough to the edge.  Managed to evacuate my mum and sis just fine but we were all that we could take.  We were never rich so trying rebuild after all of that was hellish.  I went into really bad debt anyway helping them rebuild and I needed to make that money back somehow.  Mercenary work promised a handsome paycheck and the military left me with a glowing CV so MercServ picked me right up.”

 

Proxy stretched and yawned, gently scratching underneath her eyepatch.  “Guh, I’m knackered.  Have been awake since five this morning.”  She wriggled deeper under the covers to make herself cozy.  

 

“Yeah,” Aimee nodded and yawned thanks to the contagiousness.  Instead of settling in she looked down to Proxy, obviously examining her face.

 

The discomfort that Proxy hoped was behind her started creeping back.  “Uh… what are you staring for?”  

 

“Do you not take off your eyepatch when you sleep?”

 

Proxy grimaced.  “I do.  I usually don’t wear it around Nader and Sparks outside of work either.  It just… feels weird around you.”

 

“Do you want to take it off?  It seems uncomfortable.”

 

“It is but…  I don't know if I want you  see it.”  Proxy sat up.  “Wouldn’t it be weird for you too?”

 

“I have been looking at the scar on your neck all night.  I can handle seeing the rest of what I did to you.  If we are going to be… whatever we will be… I need to.”  Aimee reached out and rested her hand on Proxy’s cheek, slipping her thumb under the band of her eyepatch and over the scar that ran down her face.  She hesitated when Proxy leaned away slightly.  “Wait, are you okay?”

 

“Not really.”  Proxy tried to keep her tears from welling up.  “I didn’t think this would ever happen.  It’s more than just weird.  I almost thought I was okay being around you but now this happens and everything comes back.  I feel sick.”

 

“Proxy you do not need to take it off if you do not want to.  We can just let this be.”

 

“Not like I can hide it forever.  And what’s the point in delaying what will be dreadful no matter when it happens.  Just…” She raised a hand, gently budging Aimee's out of the way as she took the eyepatch off and swept her fringe aside.  

 

Aimee kept herself from recoiling but put her hand to her mouth as guilt churned in her stomach.  A chemical burn-like scar engulfed her left eye socket, the damage creeping down her cheek.  It was almost difficult to believe that there was even an eye to begin with.  “God, I am so sorry.”

 

“It looks a lot worse than it feels.  At least now, anyway.”  Proxy put the eyepatch next to her phone on the nightstand and covered up the side of her face with her hand.  Tears trickled down her cheek but she managed to keep her voice even.   “Thought the flash was the end of it but then the burning started after you left.  Was stuck in that alley until Sparks got to me a couple hours later.  I was unconscious when she found me.”

 

“I really did not know that this would have happened.  I knew it could blind you but not the rest.  I never did such close range tests.  It was not how it was made to be used.”

 

Proxy bit her lip for a moment, her voice coming out as a rasp when she spoke again.   She managed to form the question she’d been avoiding ever since Aimee first apologized.  “Back then, if you did know, would you have still done it anyway?” 

 

Aimee sat in a mortified silence.  She was only paralyzed further when Proxy turned back and stared her down in a silent demand for an answer.  “I…” her voice shook, words snagging in her throat.  “I… do not… maybe...”

 

“Don’t you dare lie to me now.”  Proxy’s voice was also starting to quiver through her gritted teeth.  “You took the time to do your little bloody art project on my neck.  You looked like you  _ enjoyed  _ it.  That’s shit you don’t forget.”

 

Stress tightened Aimee's chest.  The pained look on Proxy's face was enough to make her break.  The truth would only be worse, but she still couldn't bring herself to lie.  “Yes.”

 

Proxy took a deep, shaky breath.  “I am so sorry.” Aimee repeated softly.  “So much has changed since then. If I were given the chance I would take all of it back.”  She fought back the urge to cry as Proxy's hurt grew all the more apparent.  “Please believe me.  I cannot even begin to explain how much I wish I could.”

 

Proxy couldn't respond,  looking down at her free hand that was clenched up in her lap instead.  It was too much to hear - her body trembled as a miasma of emotions overwhelmed her.  She couldn’t discern where fury ended, misery began, and how deep the grief and resentment ran.  Every last fiber of her being wanted to lash out, her fist shaking in the hopes of getting to chance to exact revenge.  The fingernails of her other hand dug into her forehead as she kept up the struggle to stifle what could only come out ugly crying.  There wasn’t much hope for that - her stiff upper lip had long since gone.

 

Aimee reached out to touch the hand Proxy covered her face with but she smacked her arm away.  She flinched and shrunk back, feeling near microscopic in the face of Proxy’s unravelling emotions.  “Proxy, I-”

 

“ _ No! _ ”  Proxy’s voice cracked, closer to a sob than a shout.  “Just stop!  You come back into my life and instead of being the sadistic freak I had written off, you’re all cute and charming and shit.  I spent so much time pretending I was fine because some-fucking-how I started to like you.  I tricked myself into thinking I could laugh it off because, hey, that’s just what I  _ do,  _ right?!  I can let it go!  It’ll be great!”  Tears streamed down her face and her nose was starting to drip, the left side only managing to stay dry because of her wounds.  “But it’s not,” she sniffled, “it’s so confusing.  I wish I could’ve just kept hating you.  Would be so much easier that way.”

 

“I would not blame you if you did hate me,” Aimee murmured.  “Maybe I should leave, cancel my contract, get out of your life for good - make it easier to forget.  I can always find other work.”

 

“That’s not the point.”

 

“I do not want to cause you more suffering than I already have.”

 

“I just told you that I have feelings for you and you think up and leaving after all of this would somehow make it better?”

 

“But what is there that I can do?”

 

Proxy’s composure faltered again, this time the teariness coming with an exhausted, incredulous smile.  “Stay with me, you twit.”

 

Aimee reached out to her again but was caught off guard when Proxy clung to her and buried her face in her shoulder.  It took her a moment to adjust before she wrapped her arms around her without another word.

 

The contact alone was enough to make Proxy cry again, her body going limp in Aimee’s embrace.  Aimee couldn’t think of what to say - there weren’t enough sorries in the world to express how she felt.  Instead she held Proxy closer, one hand resting on the back of her head and the other rubbing her back.  Her shoulder started going numb and her sleeve hopelessly soaked but even so, she refused to move.

 

Proxy's sobs eventually softened and downgraded to the occasional sniffle.  Even when she stopped she kept clinging to Aimee.  After a bit silence Aimee took a chance on speaking again.  “Are you going to be okay?”

 

Proxy pulled back from Aimee's shoulder, her eye puffy and face soaked with tears and then some.  “I… I think I will be.”  She sniffled again, wiping tears away with the back of her hand.  “Still feeling shit, really.”

 

“One moment.”  Aimee patted Proxy's shoulder before scooting out of the bed and going to the bathroom.  Seconds later she came back with a roll of toilet paper.  She tore off a strip of a couple squares and handed it over.  “Here.”

 

Proxy took them and blew her nose.  Aimee handed her another that she used to wipe her cheeks.  They kept going until Proxy had dried her face entirely, building up a small mound of used papers at her side.  “Cheers,” she said, so drained of energy she couldn’t even pretend to sound like anything other than death warmed over.  She settled back down into bed and checked her phone one more time.  Nearly 4 am.  “Ugh, fuck.”  

 

Aimee gathered up the tissues and went to throw them away in the bathroom.  On her way back she turned off the main light, leaving only the lamp on her nightstand to cast the room in a warm glow.  “Sorry that I made that whole conversation go to hell.  We were having such a good night too.”

 

“No, don’t be,” Proxy reassured her as she joined her in bed.  “I asked and you told me the truth.  It was what I wanted, after all.”  Proxy took a rattly breath as she recovered from all of the crying.  “Not like this wasn’t doomed to be complicated from the start.”

 

“True,” Aimee replied with an added dry chuckle as she turned off the lamp.  She settled on her side faced away from Proxy, trying to work her emotions down herself.  It wasn't long before Aimee felt movement under the covers followed by Proxy’s hand clumsily bumping into the middle of her back.  Instead of going to hold her hand she rested it on her waist.   

 

“Hm?”  Aimee turned enough to look at her, just barely able to make out her face in the dark.  Proxy scooted closer and worked her other arm underneath her pillow but stopped before coming into contact with her.  Aimee wiggled back to meet her halfway, nestling comfortably against her belly.

 

Proxy held onto her tighter in a hug and nuzzled into the crook of her neck.  Aimee’s hair was still the tiniest bit damp but Proxy couldn’t help but enjoy the smell of it.  Her heartbeat felt faster than normal and while she wasn’t familiar with Aimee’s, her’s did too.  Exhaustion weighed Proxy down into a light snooze almost as soon as she got herself comfortable.  “I’m happy that you came tonight,” she murmured, “and, you know, that I didn't kill you.” 

 

Aimee smiled to herself as she felt doziness pull her under.  “Yeah, me too.”  

 


	5. Chapter 5

After several minutes of wandering through the barracks to track Sparks down, Aimee finally found her in locker room.  Thankfully Proxy was nowhere to be seen.

 

Sparks looked up to see Aimee coming right for her.  “Hey, you look like woman on mission.”

 

“You are right, I have been looking for you.  Was hoping we could talk in private.”

 

“Oh,” Sparks blinked with a curiously surprised look.  “I have some free time.”  She did some last organizing before closing her locker door.  “Come, follow me.”  Sparks gestured after her for Aimee to tag along.  She led the way to the clinic, ignoring an uninterested-by-default Phoenix sat at the desk and claiming the empty exam room.  Aimee took a seat up on the table and Sparks shut the door behind them.  “So, what is up?”

 

“About Proxy, what sort of stuff does she like doing?”

 

“Why ask me?”  Sparks sat casually against the counter, crossing her legs and lacing her fingers over her knee.  “You could just do that yourself.”

 

“No, I want to surprise her with something.  I mean, does she even like those?”

 

“Hmm, that depends on what you intend to surprise her with.  Spontaneous invitation?  Sure.  No pulling dramatic public stunts though.  She hates those.  Any other specifics, by chance?”

 

“I just want it to be nice.”

 

“Oh, how delightfully vague,” Sparks said, her voice dripping with her usual light-hearted sarcasm.  “What sort of thing is this for, exactly?”

 

Aimee tensed at Sparks's smug smile.   She definitely knew.  “I suppose one could say that it is for a, well… date.  I know that you two are close friends so I figured you might be of help.”

 

“Aw, she talked about little old me with you?  Bless her.  And to think?  Date?  What happened when you came over?”

 

“You expect me to believe that she did not tell you?”

 

Sparks grinned in amusement.  “Touché.  Truth be told I’m actually very happy for you both.  When you first showed up most I had hoped for was closure she needed.  I guess, in some way, she is getting it.” Aimee was about to speak again but Sparks didn't let her get a word in edgewise. “But should give fair warning that although you have proven to be alright these past few months, you still have not won my complete trust.  Do not poke bear.  That would be very,  _ very _ stupid move.”

 

“I will not,” Aimee responded, surprised by how intimidating Sparks was in close quarters.  “The past is just that.”

 

“Lovely.  Back to topic at hand.  Unfortunately for you I do not exactly have collection of dossiers on my friends to go handing out.  I know this advice is cliché but just-”

 

“Do not say ‘be yourself.’”

 

Sparks shrugged in playful resignation.  “Okay.”

 

Aimee sighed and slid off of the exam table.  “Thanks for your time.”

 

“Hey, for what it’s worth,” Sparks said, stopping Aimee in her tracks, “she really does like you.  Don’t overthink it.  You’ll be fine.”  She got down from the counter gestured to the door.  “Go on, I’ll give you something before you leave.”

 

Aimee headed out and Sparks went past her to commandeer the pen Phoenix was using.  

 

Phoenix groaned.  “That was old the first time you did it, you know that?  We have that-” he pointed at mug full of pens on the far corner of the desk “-for a reason.”

 

“Not like you have ever stopped me,” she retorted, scribbling down her phone number on a scrap of paper and putting the pen back in Phoenix’s hand.  “Here, Aimee,” she passed the note over to her, “just don’t use it too much, yes?  Save for emergency.”

 

Aimee took it, pleasantly surprised by her handwriting being legible enough for her to discern the string of digits.  “There is no way that you can be a real doctor,” she joked, pulling out her phone to put Sparks in her contacts and send off a quick test message.  

 

“You’d be surprised at what passes for doctors around here,” Phoenix muttered, not looking away from the paperwork he’d already returned to.  

 

Sparks didn’t justify him with a response.  Her phone buzzed in her pocket.  She gave it a quick glance to greeted by Aimee's text.  “Go then, I have work that needs tending to.  Good luck with everything.”

 

“Yeah, thanks,” Aimee gave a thankful smile and wave before leaving the clinic.  As she wandered down the hall she sent a text to Proxy.   _ Going to the courtyard. Meet me there?   _

 

For the first time in a few days the weather was something better than barely redeemable.  In fact, it was downright lovely.  The buildings framed a clear blue sky that was punctuated by the occasional puffy white cloud drifting lazily past.  Aimee sat on one of the benches and watched the resident pigeons go about their usual business.  The distant creak of the door made her look over to see Proxy coming to join her.  

 

“Heya,” Proxy greeted as she sat down next to Aimee, “what's up?” She seemed particularly chipper - perhaps it was the nice weather giving her a boost.

 

“I wanted to ask you something.”

 

“Go for it.”

 

“I know that this is very short notice, but do you have anything going on tonight?”

 

“Nope, nothing at all.”  Proxy caught on quickly, her obvious anticipation making her smile a bit.  “Do you?”

 

“No, but I was hoping to.”

 

“I'm meant to assume this want involves me, yeah?”  Aimee nodded sheepishly in response.  “What were you thinking of?”

 

“Ah, nothing specific,” she said, scratching the back of her head and breaking eye contact briefly.  “Just kind of hanging out at my place or something, you know?  Make dinner.  Nothing fancy.  Could stay the night - if you want to, that is.”

 

Proxy giggled.  “You say that like there is anything fancy to do within a thirty mile radius in the first place.”

 

“Oh, right…”  Aimee trailed off, trying not to look flustered.

 

“But hey, lack of fanciness aside, I would love to spend the night with you.”

 

A pang hit Aimee's heart at the very word  _ love _ .  “Great!  When will you be ready to go?”

 

“My work’s already sorted, was just waiting on Sparks again.  Should pass some of my things to Nader to keep hold of for me, but then we can get right the hell out of here.”  Proxy paused when something dawned on her.  “Wait - will I even fit on that motorcycle with your gear?”

 

“Oh, it will be fine.  Just need to sit close is all.”  Aimee was inwardly chuffed over her flirting until she had a realization of her own.  “Shit.  You should find a helmet to borrow though.”

 

* * *

 

The sun had started to set by the time Aimee pulled to a stop outside the end of a row of terraced houses.  Even though Aimee lent her a spare windproof jacket it wasn’t enough to keep warmth from being lost to the autumn evening.  She slid forward when Aimee got off of the motorcycle and followed suit.

 

“I think that worked out well,” Proxy commented as she took off her borrowed helmet.  It was a spare Phoenix kept tucked away in the clinic.  Sparks had been kind enough to liberate it for her when he went for a bathroom break.  Combined with some shooting glasses she pinched from the range it proved to be ideal for road safety. 

 

“Sparks seems to like taking Phoenix’s stuff.”

 

“Eh, she’s got sticky fingers but gives it all back,” she said with a shrug, getting her bag from one of the panniers.  “Usually, anyway.”

 

Aimee led the way to her front door to unlock it.  She flipped on the living room lights before ushering Proxy inside.  “Go ahead and make yourself at home.  I need to put the motorcycle in the back garden.”

 

“Alright,” Proxy answered simply, closing the door as Aimee went back to the street.  She stooped down to take off her shoes and lingered a bit before wandering into the living room.  Aimee’s choice of décor hardly came as a surprise, but Proxy was still impressed that she managed to squeeze Parisian chic into the cozy confines of an English house.   She pulled out her phone and sat on the sofa, careful not to disturb the throw pillows.  The typical sight of text notifications from Sparks greeted her, filled with well wishes and updates on the helmet heist.  

 

She jumped at the sound of Aimee at the back door, the kitchen light coming on immediately after. “Sparks sent me some news.”

 

“Oh?  What happened?”  Aimee hung her coat up on a wall hook near the door before coming into the living room.

 

“Phoenix left.  Didn't suspect a thing.”

 

Aimee giggled. “Tell her I say congrats.”

 

“Will do.” Proxy sent off the requested message along with her own goodbye before pocketing her phone.

 

“So, are you hungry?” Aimee gestured over her shoulder to the kitchen.  “I was thinking of starting dinner.”

 

“I'm absolutely starving.”  Proxy stood and followed Aimee back into the kitchen.  “What were you thinking of?”

 

“Figured we could make pizza?  Could do bruschetta too.  Simple, you know?”

 

“Sounds great.”  Proxy’s stomach rumbled at the mere promise of food.  She stayed out of Aimee’s way started going through her cupboards. “Damn, it’s been ages since I’ve had homemade pizza.”

 

“Really?” Aimee asked as she pulled out a pair of mixing bowl.  “It is such a simple thing to do.”

 

“Hah, yeah.  I can cook and all but it just happens, you know?  Can't be bothered a lot of the time.”

 

“Well, I could use your help if you’d be alright with that.”

 

“Sure thing.  What do you need?”  

 

“I will take care of the sauce if you can do the dough.  I have the recipe I always use written down,” Aimee went into a drawer and pulled out a small box full of index cards.  She rifled through them until she found the right card, handing it over to Proxy.  “Here, everything should be in the pantry except for the yeast.  That is in the refrigerator.”

 

Proxy took the card and read the neatly handwritten ingredients.  She perused the pantry’s shelves and managed to find everything she needed, even though getting the flour down from the top shelf - much to Aimee’s amusement - required her to stand on the tips of her toes.

 

Aimee set a frying pan on the stovetop and added generous pour of olive oil.  “Before you get started on the dough could you get some things for me?  I need an onion, garlic, passata, tomato puree…” Aimee paused to ponder her list, “oh, and parmesan.”

 

“Right.”  Proxy gathered up everything Aimee requested and loosely organized them on the counter for her without getting in the way of her chopping board.  Mercifully Aimee had a spice rack to save her from more pantry digging.

 

“Thank you, my dear assistant.”  Aimee gave Proxy a little added thanks with a peck on the cheek and turning back to work on chopping the onion.  “Could I trouble you with another request?  I need some tomatoes and basil from the garden.”

 

Proxy felt happiness swell in her chest from the affection.  She was already happy to be of help but the added bribery of kisses made the task made it all the more appealing.  “Alright.  How much?”

 

“Hmm, three tomatoes, probably.  Three leaves of basil, too - go for the big ones.”

 

By the time Proxy came back with her second round of requested ingredients to be greeted by the smell of onion sizzling away in the pan along with neat pile set aside on the cutting board.  Aimee was already mostly through mincing the garlic.  Proxy washed the tomatoes and set them next to the cutting board, then going back to wash the basil in a bowl.  She returned Aimee’s kiss on the cheek she’d as she set the herbs next to the remaining tomatoes.

 

Aimee seemed to blush a little, but it could have just as well been from the heat off the stove.  “Thank you.  I  will not pester you for anything else.”  

 

“Aw, it’s no problem, really.  You’re feeding me, after all.”

 

“Fair point,” Aimee conceded as she stirred the passata into the pan.  “It has been a long time since someone has helped me around the kitchen.”  She didn’t look away as she focused on seasoning the sauce.  “You are actually the first person I have had visit me here.”

 

“Really?  Not even family?”

 

“Nope, not exactly in touch with them.  They were not thrilled when I dropped out of university.  Not shocking that they did not take the news of their daughter becoming an assassin well, among other things…”  Aimee paused, clearly hung up on painful memories.  “Yeah, they cut me off.”

 

“Shit, I’m sorry.”  Proxy didn’t press for elaboration on the last point.  Some questions were better left unasked.

 

Aimee shrugged.  “I am pretty much over it.  Clean break.  I have a life of my own now.”  She stayed quiet for a bit, chopping the last of the tomatoes and basil.  

 

Proxy tried to smother the guilt of accidentally touching a nerve.  The last thing she wanted was another situation like last time.

 

“So,” Aimee broke the strained silence and picked up a bottle of wine she had left standing beside the countertop rack.  “What are your feelings on syrah?” 

 

“Uh, I’ll drink it?  I probably know less about wine than you do about tea.” 

 

“Works for me.”  Aimee set the bottle down so she could get a pair of glasses went into another drawer for her corkscrew.  “Would be a shame to open a bottle and not be able to share.”  She carefully poured the wine through the aerator for each of their glasses and handed one over to Proxy.  Aimee swirled her glass and took a deep sniff of her wine before having a drink.

 

Proxy mimicked Aimee in swirling and sniffing her wine.  Her little monkey-see, monkey-do act didn't go unnoticed but Aimee kept her thoughts of endearment to herself.  “Definitely a lot nicer than vodka.  No offense.”  She added a splash of wine to the sauce, giving it a stir and leaving it to simmer.

 

“I won't tell Sparks.”  She took a sip.  Different, but she didn't hate it.  

 

“Thanks.  Heaven knows what she would do.”  Aimee drank a bit more and set her glass down.  “Alright, back to work.”

* * *

 

 

Proxy finished crunching the last bits of her pizza crust and put her cleared plate on the coffee table.  She sat back for a couple moments, unsure if her doziness was from general exhaustion or an omen of an impending food coma.  At any rate, she was content.   “Dinner was great.  Thanks again.”

 

“You are most welcome.”  Aimee drank the last of her wine and left the glass in the company of Proxy’s plate.  She rested her arm on the back of the sofa and sank back into the cushions.  “I forgot how nice it was to have company.”

 

“Mhm,”  Proxy scooted closer and rested her head on Aimee’s shoulder.  “Happy I could be a good guest for you.”  

 

“You are more than just 'good’.”  Aimee played with a few strands of Proxy’s hair.  “You are nothing short of lovely.”

 

“Aw, stop,” Proxy chuckled.  “You’re gonna make me blush.”

 

“But what if I want to make you blush?” 

 

Proxy could feel a faint warmth on her cheeks, certainly more than what could be attributed to the wine.  Aimee was going to get her wish sooner rather than later.  “I mean, you’re more than welcome to keep trying.” 

 

“Am I now?”  Aimee caressed Proxy’s cheek, smiling when Proxy pressed her face into her hand.  “Would it be okay if I took off your eyepatch?”

 

Painfully familiar apprehension tightened Proxy’s chest despite already having exposed the damage before.  She glanced away, but her anxiety melted away when she looked back up to be greeted by Aimee’s reassuring smile.  “Yeah.”  A little shiver went through her as Aimee slid her fingers under the band.  “Still don’t know why you would willingly see that ugly mess.”

 

“Nonsense,” Aimee tutted, banishing the eyepatch to the coffee table.  “You are not ugly.”

 

“Oh, come on…”  

 

“Do not ‘oh, come on’ me.”  Aimee gently kissed Proxy’s scarred cheekbone and put her hand back on her cheek.  “You are gorgeous and no amount of scars could possibly change that.”

 

Proxy’s heart skipped.  She had long since given up on feeling beautiful then Aimee, in her typical fashion, went and shook up her expectations.  Tears welled up but it wasn’t out of stress, sadness, or anger.  For once it was nothing other than pure happiness.  She didn’t even bother trying to find words, kissing her instead.  

 

Aimee held Proxy close as they shared soft, lingering kisses.  She almost felt a pang of sadness when Proxy pulled away, but it quickly passed as she snuggled up against her.  “Hah, you are blushing.”

 

“Shush,” Proxy playfully ordered as Aimee wrapped her arms around her.  “You know, I just thought of something,” 

 

“Hmm?” 

 

“If we actually, you know, work out...”  Proxy trailed off - just saying the words out loud stirred up a visceral sort of excitement inside her.  “How do you think we’ll answer people when they ask how we met?  You know it’s gonna happen.” 

 

Aimee gave a little shrug.  “Dunno.  They will probably think we are nuts.”

 

“I'm not entirely sure that we aren't, honestly.”

 

“Does it matter?”

 

“Only if it does to you.”

 

“Not at all.”

 

Proxy took a hold of Aimee’s hand.  “That’s good, but I still think it’ll be a long time before I can introduce you to my mum.”

 

“What, does she have it out for me?”

 

“You know it, and she can smell a lie from a mile away so making up some story is out of the question.”

 

“Cannot say that I blame her for hating me.”

 

“Eh, she’ll get over it eventually.”  Proxy chuckled to herself.  “Hell, if you can manage to win me over after all the shite you put me through, she shouldn’t be too bad.”

 

“I am sure we will figure it out.”

 

Proxy’s phone went off in her pocket, buzzing against Aimee’s leg.  Aimee started to shift away.  “You want to get that?  I can move.”

 

“Nah,” Proxy shook her head and kept Aimee close, “it can wait.”


End file.
